I, Bjorn Skullsmasher Thundershaft, Warrior Prince of the Northern Barbarian Tribes received the Jessie Andrews Main Squeeze as tribute from my vassals. Imagine my surprise when presented with a seemingly unadorned drinking horn of matte black Further, imagine my utter shock when uncorking the vessel to discover the fleshy, eager woman-bits within“Fetch my axe Llaendastrind dies for his insolence this day” I cried out, ready to repudiate my vassal’s insouciance with cold steel. “Peace, peace my liege.” The council implored. “Our network of stable boy spies and assassins assure us, what you hold in your hand is an accurate replica of the Empress herself”This gave me pause, for many long nights had I spent entertaining my warrior brethren with my plans of conquest. In great detail, I had outlined my plans for working my way through the royal harem, girl by girl. And when I had laid my claim to each of these wenches, then -- then I would take the Empress herself. On this day, my training began.Long hours were spent furiously pumping away. The supple molding and lifelike texture made me sure, when my eyes were clenched shut, that I was indeed having my way with the Empress herself. I know not who this Jessie Andrews is, but if she is truly half as lewd in the wet, sloppy song these lips sang, perhaps I will seek to capture her.. once the Empire has fallen.Each morning at sunrise, I would scale sheer granite cliffs to hone my technique in solitude. At first, removing the insert from the fleshlight for cleaning seemed a chore. When it sprang from the fleshlight like a hungry, corpulent worm thrashing in the clear mountain streams, my resolve almost broke. But no, relenting is not the way of the proud Thundershaft lineage. I persevered.Winter turned to Spring. Spring to Summer. Never did the craftsmanship of the Jessie Andrews Main Squeeze falter. Always was she eager to accept my glistening manhood. In time, I knew the Empress would bend to my will just as readily.Now my armies, my ravening hordes, approach the Imperial border. All have girded themselves manfully, bearing the arms and vestments of the North. Soon we will ride to battle. Strapped securely to my saddlehorn is my Jessie Andrews Main Squeeze. The Empire’s walls will crumble. The arrogance and opulence of that way of life will come to an end, brought low by blood and fire. I have no choice but to revere the oracle that brought me here. I must give the Jessie Andrews Main Squeeze five of five gold stars.

Okay so as a college student who is in between girlfriends at the moment and needs every cent for school, I wanted a product that was cheap but efficient. Fleshlight is great but far too expensive I mean who pays 80 bucks for a masturbator I went into the store and saw this sitting on the shelf. First off ill do my pros for the product and then my cons. The vagina feels incredibly real in fact its the closet you can get to the real thing without having the real thing. Its really easy to clean and it is very discreet since I cant afford dorms, its easy too hide from family and guests. It fits me really well and Im pretty decent in the endowment department. Its not too small like some reviewers have said I mean either you are way to big or youre lying lol It is filled on the inside with dozens of pleasure nubs which feel amazing. The vagina is also modeled after a real girl which I love. Im not a fan of Jessie Andrews since I like bigger girls but the fact that its modeled after a real girl makes me blow that much harder. Now to the cons. Dont worry there isnt too many. First off are the lips. Specifically the coloring. The pink just comes off bottom line. I used this product as soon as I got home and after the first use the pink rubbed off and today 2 days after purchase the pink is totally gone. It hasnt lost detail it just doesnt have pink on the lips anymore. A few reviewers have complained of the smell. I personally think the smell is tied to the pink because as soon as the smell goes away which is immediately the pink comes off. The second and last con is the whole at the end. So they put that there to make cleaning easier but it makes it a bit harder. TO clean it you rinse it out with soapy warm water but the thing is you cant dry the inside of the toy. I used it today and there was still some water inside the toy from last nights cleaning. One last tip. Its not a con but it is something you should all know. You kind of have to relearn how to masturbate with this because the whole product is made of the real flesh jelly so if you hold it too far down it sags and feels weird. You have to grip the whole thing in your palm. Once you learn and find that sweet spot oh boy does it feel amazing. As a single guy without a girl right now this is the closest thing to real sex Ive found. I would buy this product a dozen times over. Lots and Lots of fun.

the item was a lot amaller than it looked. The entrance hole was very small. I would not purchase this item again.