Stocking Fetish

by Cay L. Crow

lower half of a woman sitting in a chair with legs crossed in black fishnet stockings

Hey Cay!

What is it with guys who have fetishes?! My boyfriend of two years just told me that he wants me to wear black stockings when we have sex. I thought our sex life was great now I feel as if me naked and willing in bed is not enough for him. What gives?

Stocking stuffer

Fetishes and Sex Life

Dear Stocking stuffer,

Don’t sell yourself short! Your boyfriend does enjoy you just as you are. Perhaps he just wants to share a stocking fantasy with you or change the sensual aspects of your sex life. I would not jump to the conclusion that your boyfriend has a fetish. Typically, a fetish is where something – like stockings – is essential to the person’s arousal. I suppose you and your boyfriend have had a lot of sex in two years, none of which involved black stockings? If that is the case, it is not a fetish but a request for variety. Desire for sex is much like the appetite for food but few people want to eat the same thing at each meal so they use different seasonings, oils, and methods of preparing food. The same idea applies to sex. I encourage you to ask your boyfriend what it is about you in black stockings that appeals to him. You may be surprised by the answer. The stockings do not detract but enhance his attraction to you. Now that you know he likes sheer nylon or silk material like stockings, have fun with it! Here is an idea; consider surprising him with a body stocking and see what happens!

CAY L. CROW, LPC, AASECT-CERTIFIED SEX THERAPIST

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